There's no point to any of this. It's all just a... a random lottery of meaningless tragedy and a series of near escapes. So I take pleasure in the details. You know... a Quarter-Pounder with cheese, those are good, the sky about ten minutes before it starts to rain, the moment where your laughter become a cackle... and I, I sit back and I smoke my Camel Straights and I ride my own melt.
~ Reality Bites

Thursday, April 1, 2010

My Life Vs My Dream

Just Another 20 Something here.... Trying to find their way in the world. Im a Post Grad... With no job (not uncommon in this economy). Did you ever dream about what your life would be like? Not just the grade school project dream, but actually dream about what your life was going to be? I never dreamed of being famous or being a Fireman or being a Doctor. it never really came to me what i was going to be. My sophomore year of junior college i thought i found it! I watched How To Lost A Guy In 10 Days staring Kate Hudson. Her life looked glamours.. living in a metro, working at a top magazine, well dressed, great friends, and a Life! it looked perfect to me. i started looking into professions within the communications degree.

Thats when i found it! PUBLIC RELATIONS.... my AHHA moment! Fabulous people, tons of money and an up and coming career. Looks great on paper, doesn't it? i started at my alma-martyr, American University, in the Fall of 2005. After making DRASTIC changes in my life (which included breaking up with the love of my life, moving across the country with no friends or family within a 2,000 mile radius, and a new city that i knew NOTHING about), Washington, DC! WoW can i say that it was one of the best decisions that i ever made. i found that the city fit me perfectly! i found great friends that became my family, interned in amazing companies (VH1, Napster). The dream that i had really seemed like a possibility! I mean how many people get the opportunities that i was getting? not many! and it seemed like it was all falling into place!

I graduated from American in the Winter of 2007, and moved home to California immediately! i couldn't wait to be back in the state where i felt like i belonged. My family was here, long term friends, and of course the love of my life. I felt so blessed to be back in this beautiful state with nothing but opportunities ahead of me right! NOT!

The economy crashed...My career flopped! I have been without a job for the past two years....i spent over $75,000 on an education and Im not making a dime! So theirs still that dream... that damn dream! where i life in an amazing loft in WeHo, with an amazing income from working with MTV networks, Famous Friends taking me to amazing parties, planning events that only the top VIP come to.... and so on.... but is that really what i want in this life. So i really want to spend my entire life at a job that only gives me the benefits if i spent nothing but the next 10 years following it! is that really what i want out of life... to lost my friends because Im always so damn busy, losing the love of my life cause he just doesn't fit into my work schedule, losing the time with my family because i have to work every weekend and i cant make it to any big events! NO! i want a life! i mean a real life... one where my family, friends and love come first, and my income comes second! i want kids and not have to worry about having a nanny take care of them. i want to get to know my nephew and be there for him when he needs someone. i want to stay in the lives of my friends that have always made the time for me! so where does that leave me?

As Just Another 20 Something Life..... Just Another 20 Something trying to find their way threw this crazy world that changes so fast they can barely keep up with it! So... Here i am looking for a new dream that really meets who i am and the life that i want to live. Its a new life! i live in Phoenix now with the love of my life while he goes after his dream! but its time for me to really look at what my new dream is... my new deal! Starting all over is not necessarily what i had in mind for 2010 but self-realization never hurt anyone! so charge on and we will see where this new dream leads me...

"You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream" - C.S.Lewis (British Novelist 1898-1963)

1 comment:

  1. i like it....sometimes our dreams aren't what we thought they would be even after alot of hardwork....But we will see you where your new dream takes you good luck and i will reading about it